The Justice Objection
“It’s not fair.” They have not apologized or said, “I’m sorry.” They haven’t asked to be forgiven. Are you waiting for the other person to take a step for you to forgive? Sometimes people wait 10-20 years, waiting for someone to apologize.

Your goal for the other to apologize is not working.
If we are waiting for others to change the real question is: “How do you want to wait?” “Do you want to wait miserably, distracted by ongoing anger and hurt, or do you want to wait happily by getting on with your life?” By waiting for an apology to forgive, you are putting your happiness in the hands of someone who has already shown the inability to respect your worth.
Never put your happiness in the hands of someone else who hasn’t been able to respect your happiness or to treasure you.
Jesus said, “never cast your pearls before swine.” Never cast your dignity, your worth, your happiness before someone who is not able to respect it.

Do these ideas help you satisfy your objection or set it aside?

Remember, what they did does matter. Forgiveness is choosing today not to let those events distress you anymore. Forgiveness will not change your past, but it will change you and your future

Prayer: Merciful God, they may never acknowledge what they did to hurt me.  Help me to realize that and to move on with my life in peace and joy.

Adapted from books and videos by Episcopal Priest Rob Voyle who has written and counseled extensively in Christian forgiveness.